Mine

Segala kebahagiaan dan kedukaan adalah milikmu ya Allah. Dan semoga dengan izinmu kebahagiaan ini tetap menjadi milikku, dunia dan akhirat. Aamiin.. 

Crush

I just hate having a crush. You screwed me up. If i could hate and unmet you, i WILL. Or maybe it's my fault. I'm exceeding the friend zone that I made. *SIGH* 

Lesson learn

We meet many people throughout our life. It is our choice with whom we want to be friend with. Before this i trust my friend too much, until at one point i feel like I've been betrayed by them. I learn not to trust a person easily even though he or she is my friend. And now, I've already found several friends that i can really trust. The problem is i put high expectation on them. Yeahh, i should remind myself that nobody's perfect. Emm, it really takes time for me to accept these. So, just let me be alone for the time being T_T 

Lost

Alhamdulillah. 

I feel blessed.

For all the matters that happened around me. For all those people who always there to make me smile. For all the happy and hurtful memories. For all the love I've received. 

But there's also a moment when i feel nothing is actually belongs to me. Nothing. I feel devastated. Or maybe.. lost. 

I try to search the light in my inner soul. I asked myself. 

"What do you really want? What do you need the most? What things will make you feel calm? Can it make you feel blessed?" 

When i sit there on my sajadah. Trying to find my soul. I found the answer. 

I have Allah. And i am never alone.

Me

People come and go 

Memories slowly disappear

Feelings are getting fade

And me, still here 

Being the same me 

Much more stronger than before

I won't let anything bringing me down

Cause what's waiting for me out there, 

Is harder than this

I'll prepare myself for the battle 

Battle within me and my future

It might be exhausting or.. 

It may be confusing 

But deep inside my tiny little heart

I believe, with Allah 

There's nothing i can't solve 

#RANDOM

Degree

Alhamdulillah.. 

I'm happy 
I'm grateful 
I'm excited 

Thanks to Allah, i managed to get an offer to further my study in degree course which is Bachelor of Applied Lang. Studies (Hons.) English for Professional Communication. Even though my first choice is TESL, i'm grateful because i got an english course and still studying in Shah Alam. Yeahh, maybe TESL and i don't belong together. But i love teachingggggg. Gahhh. Nvm, there's hikmah behind it. Maybe i'll learn something new in this course. First sem must be hard. Hmmm. 

List to do. Hahhh. There's 2 months left. Nampak macam lama lagi kan? Nanti pejam celik, bangun tidur dah bulan September. Am i ready for my second MDS? Mihmihmih. Akan ku prepare charge phone awal2, iron all my baju kurung bcause i know i won't have enough time to do all that. Tidur sambil berjalan pun boleh masa MDS tu. Plus, ready beli handyplast takut nanti kaki melecet macam dulu. Seksa! 

Most importantly, i'm extremely happy because my best friend Nadia Taqwa got the same place as me. Even satu sem je dapat sama, at least we have more times to spent together. InshaAllah kalau tak dibebani dengan assignment, research and test whatsoever. See, menyimpang dah niat. Supposedly, niat nak belajar. Kekeke. However i feel a little bit sad.. there's none of my close friends and family TESL dapat Uitm. Pehhh. Terpisah lah kita ~.~ 

Hmm, to all my friends who also get the offers to further their studies in any University or College.. Congratulations. But for those who didn't get any offer, don't give up. You can make an appeal through the upu website or wait for the second intake. I'll pray the best for all of us. InshaAllah :) 

*Set your Niat to learn because of Allah. Don't sigh or complain. Learning is Jihad. 

Ramadhan

Bismillah..

Syukur Alhamdulillah, masih diberikan peluang bernafas di muka bumi Allah ini. Jom sama-sama menambah amal di bulan yang penuh barakah. Mencari malam lailatul qadar. Mengejar syurga yang dijanjikan Allah. Semoga kita istiqamah hingga ke bulan2 yang seterusnya. InshaAllah. 

Dengan ini, saya Siti Rahmah binti Abdullah menyusun 10 jari memohon ampun dan maaf andai ada membuat silap kepada sesiapa di luar sana. Mohon halalkan makan minum atau hutang piutang yang mungkin saya terlupa nak bayar. *Kalau nak tuntut pun boleh jugak.* Hehehe. Biaq pi la orang nak kata belum raya lagi dah sibuk minta maaf. Tak salah kan? Dosa dengan Allah, boleh minta ampun dengan Allah. Dosa dengan manusia, kalau manusia tu tak maafkan sampai mati la kita tanggung dosa. 

Lastly, Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak :) 

Change

Sorry if I've changed. I'm just avoiding myself to get hurt by stupid things. HAHA. Kbaii 

Patient

Bismillah. Life is hard for those who don't have faith in Allah. But for those who face the hardship in their life but have faith in Allah, no matter what happen they will accept it with open heart. The key word in our life is to believe in Allah and giving our life to Him. Pray to Allah, seek for His forgiveness and ask help from Allah. Sooner or later Allah will grants our prayer. What we need to do is be patient. Always say Alhamdulillah even though we didn't get what we want. Because Allah will give you what you deserve instead of what you want. As long as we are patient, Allah will give pahala for us. 

Ending of Asasi

Finally. My life as a student of TESL Foundation has ended. Many challenges, experiences and memories that I've faced. Alhamdulillah. Thanks to my lecturers ( Madam Ruqayya, Madam Maftuhah, Madam Zarina, Madam Roslinda, Madam Leele, Miss Fatiha, Mr Adlan, Miss Azy and Mr Faeiz) *Okay semua nak list kan. Muehehe* 

I'm gonna miss my friends, best friends and TESL Family. We laughed, cried and fight one another. But that will remained as my best memories ever. Please don't forget me :D Just a short message for you guys, please forgive me for all my wrong doing and please halalkan segala apa yang pernah anda bagi :') 

Smile.

Distance

There's nothing I can do except pray for the best in my life. It's useless if you are wasting your time. So, I'm going to hold my head up high and move on. Distance will teach me to be more stronger. I want to try my best :) 

Why?

Asking myself. Why I can understand people by their body movements? Through the way they talk.. I could tell what they think and feel. Not all, but most of them. Is it my superiority? Hahaa. Yeah, I bet it's true. But when I realised it, it kills me inside. 

*I think I should be a psychologist. Muehehe. 

Sometimes.

Sometimes i just have to FORGET
Sometimes i just have to FORGIVE
Sometimes i just have to LEARN
Sometimes i just have to ACCEPT
Sometimes i just have to LET GO
Sometimes i just have to TRY
Sometimes i just have to LOVE
Sometimes i just have to HATE

Sometimes.. Just sometimes.. 

I don't know which one I have to CHOOSE. 

Try

I will try. Even though, my heart ache. I still care about you. 

Misunderstanding

People might misunderstand on what we do, think and say. Its not that easy to make people understands you all the time and vice versa. In fact, sometimes it is for our own benefits. However, it needs to work in both ways. Accept others weaknesses and also improved ourselves. The most important things is, whether you are right or wrong, you need to apologize. It doesn't mean when you say "SORRY" you are wrong. Actually, you are giving you're respect and concern to the person. Please, don't feel like a weak person. Sometimes the word "SORRY" itself can give a big changes to you. Everything happened with hikmah. Allah won't test you with something that you can't manage to do. 

I still wanna be a person who is cheerful, think positively and honest. Even though sometimes I might feel like want to give, i won't let my feelings control me. I'm not saying that i am a good person, but i'm trying to be a good person. And i am not a type of person who will always put a blame on other person. I'm not perfect, so do you. We have met to complete each other. Guide me, love me and accept me because i will do the same things to you. There's no much time left, let's make beautiful memories while we can. InsyaAllah.

Sincerely, Me :) 

Don't know

I'm confused. I don't know what I'm suppose to do and act. I don't know how to coax people. Then what should i do? Hmm. Maybe I should learn slowly. =.=

Pain.

Why i keep thinking about the past? This is not good for us. But i can't deny it. Its like every pain that i felt before this is such a waste. Because you don't even remember it. I memorize the date, the time and every detail of it. But you? Urghh. Just let it be. 

Choice.

I just went to my school this morning. I feel like, OMG, i miss my school life so much. I met my teachers and juniors. Suddenly, all the memories keep playing back in my mind. Ya Allah, how I'm gonna get rid of this feeling? :( I took my SPM's certificate and lcci. After that i started interviewing my English teacher for my assignment. Just simple questions regarding their profession. Asking about their challenges, ups and downs and advice for a future teacher. I asked for their opinion about the teaching profession itself, because i love to teach. Its my dream since i was born. Puiii. Tipu tu. Hehe. InsyaAllah, where there's a will, there's a way. I realised that, to place myself at where I am right now is not that easy. I've gone for the written and spoken test. I need to take Muet and Medsi test. At the same time I must maintain my CGPA. Yahhh, seems easy for you but if you take this course then you will now. Grrrr. Thinking back about my future, no doubt, i still choose to teach. It doesn't matter kindergarten, primary, secondary or university. Its just my passion, i love to teach. *Get ready kiddo, because Im gonna be a very strict teacher. Haha. *BOOOO myself. May Allah ease everything. This is my choice right now. But Allah know the best. Do pray for me. xoxo :D 

Problems.

Assalamualaikum. 
Problems do come in our life. Its our choice whether to face or to ignore. In my case, i feel like i wanna ignore them, at first. But then i keep thinking and thinking about it non-stop. I can't even get enough sleep you know? Maybe this is just me. I pretend to ignore, but actually i think too much. I'm not a kind of person who will ignore people's feeling. Everything i do there must a reason behind it. And maybe i am too afraid to speak the truth? To say what a feel about them. I don't want to lose my friend. They've make me happy, been there when i needed the most. I won't forget that. I really hope i can make things right again. Let me explain, please. I love my friends. Thank you for making my life more meaningful :)) 

New Determination

Urghh. I feel like wanna scream out loud! This semester is so tough. I need to do double things in one time. My time is too pack and i cant even really think about other people. I'm so sorry if i hurt people around me. For this time being, i'm begging for your tolerance and understanding. I know i get mad easily and say random things to you. I will try to improve myself slowly. InsyaAllah.

2013

This year, 2013. A year with a good start. Alhamdulillah. But not everything that we planned will run smoothly. I'm glad to have parents and friends that are very supportive and understanding. I will never give up. InsyaAllah :)