Sayang

Kalau sayang, jaga lah perasaan orang yang kau sayang. Jangan tipu. Jangan sekali-kali. 

Jujur lah walau kebenaran tu sepahit hempedu. Aku akan cuba faham. 

Aku tak mintak harta benda, tak.. Tak pernah aku mintak kau berikan aku macam-macam. 

Cukup sekadar kau jujur, kau faham aku, and ada waktu susah senang aku. Sepertimana kau layan aku, macam tu jugak aku akan layan kau. 

Aku terima kekurangan kau seadanya. 

Tapi tolong, tolong jangan buat hati aku macam ni. Aku penat. Sungguh aku penat :'( 

Kalau dah tak sayang, cakap kau tak sayang. Kalau kau tak suka, cakap kau tak suka. Kalau kau benci, cakap kau benci.

I will go. 

Tapi tolong jangan sakitkan hati aku lagi. Aku tak kuat. Aku tak mampu. 

Get well soon

I don't know what to say. 

Things change. 

But the things that's happening around me change too fast. 

I feel like i'm alone. I know I always have some people i can talk to. People that i can trust. But they can never replace my mom. She is still the best among all. She's my best motivator, my role model, my best friend. 

Lately, mak tak berapa sihat. She's not like what she used to be. I'm worried about her healthy. Well, it's time to learn to stand on my own. Roda hidup. It's my turn to take care, advise and pay my attention to her. Things are hard for me right now. I try to act like i'm okay, but it bothers me a lot. I can't imagine my world without her. 

Yelah. Mungkin selama ni terlalu bergantung pada mak. Semua benda tanya mak, semua benda mak decide, semua benda cerita dekat mak, tanya pendapat mak. Sikit-sikit mak.. mak.. Hahaa. Anak mak sungguh kan? 

Even though i try to find someone to rely on to, to talk to, to ask anything, but still. It's not the same. The feeling, the love is not the same. Hahaa. The power of mom's love nak compare dengan orang lain memang tak sama. 

Mom, get well soon. I need you. I miss you. I really miss our moments. Love you. 

Don't fall, just love

I never expect i would care this much. 

But at this point, i seriously want to love and to be loved. 

I don't wanna to 'fall' in love, i just wanna love someone. 

I really, truly, hope this will last long. I can't afford to face another failure. 

May Allah show the right path and ease everything. Aamiin. 

heart emoticon

heart emotico

.

Akhir-akhir ni, rasa macam lost sangat. Tak tahu nak cakap macam mana. Banyak sangat benda yang jadi. Semuanya mengejut. Semuanya terlalu cepat jadi. Hmm. Sampai rasa dah tak boleh jadi diri sendiri. Dah tak macam Siti Rahmah yang dulu. Siti Rahmah yang sentiasa boleh happy kan diri sendiri walaupun sedih, walau jatuh terduduk macam mana sekalipun. 

Entah. Mungkin banyak sangat dosa kot. Sebab tu jadi macam ni. HAHA. 

Bukan tak cuba nak diluah, tp takde siapa yang faham. Sebab orang lain pun nak kita faham dia. Semua orang yang ada kat sekeliling aku pun makin lama makin menjauh. Takpelah. Mungkin aku yang dah banyak berubah. 

Rahmah. Belajar hidup berdikari tak payah depends kat orang lain. Sakit macam mana pun tahan sendiri je. 

Moga aku terus kuat ya Allah. Aamiin. 

Mr Doraemon

I've been thinking a lot about us these days. Haha supposedly focus untuk final exam, tapi otak ni melayang fikir pasal lain. 

Emm. How should i said this eh? I never expect this to happen. SERIOUSLY. Sebab daripada mula kenal pun, memang niat nak kawan je. Takde niat nak lebih daripada tu. But now.. aku dah termakan ayat sendiri. Dulu acah2 friendzone kan kau sampai ke sudah, kau cakap ape pun aku tak percaya. Tapi sekarang? HAHA. Entahlah 

Encik Doraemon. You still my best friend. The first guy yg jadi best friend aku. Honestly, i look down at you because i know all your weaknesses and your history. I believe i deserve someone better than you, and that's why i keep rejecting you. But once i really try to know you.. I realize.. that you are not as bad as i thought. Jahatnya aku trlalu memandang kekurangan kau sebelum ni. 

You're a good guy, a good son, a good brother to your siblings, and a very good friend for me. 

Thank you, for taking a good care of me, for being such a caring and loving person for me. I'm glad having you as my friend. Thank you sebab banyak sabar dengan perangai aku yg pelik2, yg selalu emo, yang suka marah tiba2. 

As long as kau boleh sabar dengan aku, i will do the same thing for you inshaAllah. I'm looking forward for our future relationship, maybe. You should start proceeding to the next step. hahaa Kbaii.