Kita

Dear awak, 

Terasa masih jauh perjalanan kita, banyak lagi yang belum kita capai dalam hidup ni. Masih ada tanggungjawab yang kita perlu laksanakan, pada diri kita, mak ayah & keluarga. Yang paling penting pada Allah & agama kita. Saya bersyukur kenal awak. Terima kasih sebab hadir dalam hidup saya & membahagiakan saya, menegur saya bila saya salah, pujuk saya bila saya marah, mengalah dengan saya. Saya hargai setiap awak yang awak buat :) 

Pejam celik pejam celik, sebenarnya banyak jugak dugaan yang kita dah tempuh. HAHA. Dalam tempoh ni entah berapa kali kita gaduh baik gaduh baik, perang sana sini, gunung berapi puting beliung semua ada. Ngehngeh. Tapi ni dugaan sebelum kahwin. Dugaan lepas kahwin lagi lah mencabar. Semoga kita dapat jadikan orang2 disekeliling kita sebagai contoh & pengajaran untuk masa akan datang. Kita belajar daripada pengalaman hidup diorang k? Hehee. Jadikan masa yang ada ni sebagai tempoh untuk kita perbaiki dan persiapkan diri kita. InshaAllah. 

Takda sebab pun tulis blog ni. Saja je sebab lama sangat tak menulis. Kbaii

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Akhir-akhir ni, rasa macam lost sangat. Tak tahu nak cakap macam mana. Banyak sangat benda yang jadi. Semuanya mengejut. Semuanya terlalu cepat jadi. Hmm. Sampai rasa dah tak boleh jadi diri sendiri. Dah tak macam Siti Rahmah yang dulu. Siti Rahmah yang sentiasa boleh happy kan diri sendiri walaupun sedih, walau jatuh terduduk macam mana sekalipun. 

Entah. Mungkin banyak sangat dosa kot. Sebab tu jadi macam ni. HAHA. 

Bukan tak cuba nak diluah, tp takde siapa yang faham. Sebab orang lain pun nak kita faham dia. Semua orang yang ada kat sekeliling aku pun makin lama makin menjauh. Takpelah. Mungkin aku yang dah banyak berubah. 

Rahmah. Belajar hidup berdikari tak payah depends kat orang lain. Sakit macam mana pun tahan sendiri je. 

Moga aku terus kuat ya Allah. Aamiin. 

Sorry

Sorry 

It's all i can say 

Like i said before

It's the best for now

I know we have gone through a lot 

All those pain, tears and heartbreak 

It will heal someday, inshaAllah

Let's just wait for miracle to happen

Just remember, 

You are one of my favourite person in the world :') 

Silence

In silence

I found myself 

I realized what I need the most

Rabbi Yassir Wala Tu'assir, rabbi tammim bil khoir 

Mine

Segala kebahagiaan dan kedukaan adalah milikmu ya Allah. Dan semoga dengan izinmu kebahagiaan ini tetap menjadi milikku, dunia dan akhirat. Aamiin.. 

Crush

I just hate having a crush. You screwed me up. If i could hate and unmet you, i WILL. Or maybe it's my fault. I'm exceeding the friend zone that I made. *SIGH* 

Lesson learn

We meet many people throughout our life. It is our choice with whom we want to be friend with. Before this i trust my friend too much, until at one point i feel like I've been betrayed by them. I learn not to trust a person easily even though he or she is my friend. And now, I've already found several friends that i can really trust. The problem is i put high expectation on them. Yeahh, i should remind myself that nobody's perfect. Emm, it really takes time for me to accept these. So, just let me be alone for the time being T_T 

Lost

Alhamdulillah. 

I feel blessed.

For all the matters that happened around me. For all those people who always there to make me smile. For all the happy and hurtful memories. For all the love I've received. 

But there's also a moment when i feel nothing is actually belongs to me. Nothing. I feel devastated. Or maybe.. lost. 

I try to search the light in my inner soul. I asked myself. 

"What do you really want? What do you need the most? What things will make you feel calm? Can it make you feel blessed?" 

When i sit there on my sajadah. Trying to find my soul. I found the answer. 

I have Allah. And i am never alone.

Me

People come and go 

Memories slowly disappear

Feelings are getting fade

And me, still here 

Being the same me 

Much more stronger than before

I won't let anything bringing me down

Cause what's waiting for me out there, 

Is harder than this

I'll prepare myself for the battle 

Battle within me and my future

It might be exhausting or.. 

It may be confusing 

But deep inside my tiny little heart

I believe, with Allah 

There's nothing i can't solve 

#RANDOM

Degree

Alhamdulillah.. 

I'm happy 
I'm grateful 
I'm excited 

Thanks to Allah, i managed to get an offer to further my study in degree course which is Bachelor of Applied Lang. Studies (Hons.) English for Professional Communication. Even though my first choice is TESL, i'm grateful because i got an english course and still studying in Shah Alam. Yeahh, maybe TESL and i don't belong together. But i love teachingggggg. Gahhh. Nvm, there's hikmah behind it. Maybe i'll learn something new in this course. First sem must be hard. Hmmm. 

List to do. Hahhh. There's 2 months left. Nampak macam lama lagi kan? Nanti pejam celik, bangun tidur dah bulan September. Am i ready for my second MDS? Mihmihmih. Akan ku prepare charge phone awal2, iron all my baju kurung bcause i know i won't have enough time to do all that. Tidur sambil berjalan pun boleh masa MDS tu. Plus, ready beli handyplast takut nanti kaki melecet macam dulu. Seksa! 

Most importantly, i'm extremely happy because my best friend Nadia Taqwa got the same place as me. Even satu sem je dapat sama, at least we have more times to spent together. InshaAllah kalau tak dibebani dengan assignment, research and test whatsoever. See, menyimpang dah niat. Supposedly, niat nak belajar. Kekeke. However i feel a little bit sad.. there's none of my close friends and family TESL dapat Uitm. Pehhh. Terpisah lah kita ~.~ 

Hmm, to all my friends who also get the offers to further their studies in any University or College.. Congratulations. But for those who didn't get any offer, don't give up. You can make an appeal through the upu website or wait for the second intake. I'll pray the best for all of us. InshaAllah :) 

*Set your Niat to learn because of Allah. Don't sigh or complain. Learning is Jihad. 

Change

Sorry if I've changed. I'm just avoiding myself to get hurt by stupid things. HAHA. Kbaii 

Ending of Asasi

Finally. My life as a student of TESL Foundation has ended. Many challenges, experiences and memories that I've faced. Alhamdulillah. Thanks to my lecturers ( Madam Ruqayya, Madam Maftuhah, Madam Zarina, Madam Roslinda, Madam Leele, Miss Fatiha, Mr Adlan, Miss Azy and Mr Faeiz) *Okay semua nak list kan. Muehehe* 

I'm gonna miss my friends, best friends and TESL Family. We laughed, cried and fight one another. But that will remained as my best memories ever. Please don't forget me :D Just a short message for you guys, please forgive me for all my wrong doing and please halalkan segala apa yang pernah anda bagi :') 

Smile.

Distance

There's nothing I can do except pray for the best in my life. It's useless if you are wasting your time. So, I'm going to hold my head up high and move on. Distance will teach me to be more stronger. I want to try my best :) 

Why?

Asking myself. Why I can understand people by their body movements? Through the way they talk.. I could tell what they think and feel. Not all, but most of them. Is it my superiority? Hahaa. Yeah, I bet it's true. But when I realised it, it kills me inside. 

*I think I should be a psychologist. Muehehe. 

Sometimes.

Sometimes i just have to FORGET
Sometimes i just have to FORGIVE
Sometimes i just have to LEARN
Sometimes i just have to ACCEPT
Sometimes i just have to LET GO
Sometimes i just have to TRY
Sometimes i just have to LOVE
Sometimes i just have to HATE

Sometimes.. Just sometimes.. 

I don't know which one I have to CHOOSE. 

Try

I will try. Even though, my heart ache. I still care about you. 

Don't know

I'm confused. I don't know what I'm suppose to do and act. I don't know how to coax people. Then what should i do? Hmm. Maybe I should learn slowly. =.=

Pain.

Why i keep thinking about the past? This is not good for us. But i can't deny it. Its like every pain that i felt before this is such a waste. Because you don't even remember it. I memorize the date, the time and every detail of it. But you? Urghh. Just let it be. 

Choice.

I just went to my school this morning. I feel like, OMG, i miss my school life so much. I met my teachers and juniors. Suddenly, all the memories keep playing back in my mind. Ya Allah, how I'm gonna get rid of this feeling? :( I took my SPM's certificate and lcci. After that i started interviewing my English teacher for my assignment. Just simple questions regarding their profession. Asking about their challenges, ups and downs and advice for a future teacher. I asked for their opinion about the teaching profession itself, because i love to teach. Its my dream since i was born. Puiii. Tipu tu. Hehe. InsyaAllah, where there's a will, there's a way. I realised that, to place myself at where I am right now is not that easy. I've gone for the written and spoken test. I need to take Muet and Medsi test. At the same time I must maintain my CGPA. Yahhh, seems easy for you but if you take this course then you will now. Grrrr. Thinking back about my future, no doubt, i still choose to teach. It doesn't matter kindergarten, primary, secondary or university. Its just my passion, i love to teach. *Get ready kiddo, because Im gonna be a very strict teacher. Haha. *BOOOO myself. May Allah ease everything. This is my choice right now. But Allah know the best. Do pray for me. xoxo :D